Who Creates our Feelings?

Even after meditating or attending a religious service, as we then go about our day, many of us are no longer aware of an ultimate unity, a connection with God and other human beings. Instead, we quickly become preoccupied with our own plans and designs mingled with our hopes and fears. But if we free ourselves of psychic clutter by ferreting out and releasing unexamined or unconscious material in our psyche, whenever we pause and take a moment to get still, we do realize our connection with all humanity.
If our psyches are clutter-free as the result of a deep look inside we do come to realize our connection with all humanity on an ongoing basis rather than as a momentary insight. We can see that there is no essential difference between us and our fellow human beings. We are irrefutably a part of God.
When we understand how we were created, or more accurately, created our outward persona, we can, if we wish, dismantle the job and create ourselves newly. Or we can easily make minor repairs if those are all that we determine are needed. But before I begin to explain how this is done, I want to be certain that you understand who creates your feelings. Forgive me if you find this unnecessary. For a while now, in this article, I will be asking you to examine your own experience and notice your responses.
Who Creates our Feelings?
What is the relationship between events, the language we use about those events, and our attendant feelings? We say, for example, "Tests make me nervous" or "My spouse makes me mad" or "Traffic upsets me." These statements make events the cause for our feelings. But if an event is responsible for our feelings, wouldn't everybody in a given circumstance have identical feelings? To oversimplify, wouldn't we have a totally uniform world of reactions?
But aren't your feelings different in a traffic jam if you are late for an appointment than if you are just out enjoying the sights? And very different from how you would feel if you were dreading getting to your destination, for instance, going home to an empty house after recently losing your spouse? It isn't events that cause our feelings. It is our thoughts about events that cause our feelings--whether these thoughts are positive or negative.
Generally those thoughts that create unpleasant feelings about an event are of the type –THIS SHOULDN'T BE. "I'm in a traffic jam and shouldn't' be," or "My husband didn't notice my new hairdo, and he should have," or even "My wife was too young to die."
We ourselves cause our feelings. And our beliefs, which are generally unconscious, lead to these feelings. We are totally responsible for what we feel. You may find this idea liberating or burdensome, based upon your beliefs.
It is difficult in our shared culture with existing structure of languages to break these self-defeating habits of thought and speech and talk in an honest and responsible way about our feelings--even though we often own our emotions when we are asked directly about them.
Please practice taking ownership of your feelings. Notice particularly when you have thoughts that things are not the way they are supposed to be. You can even write them down.

Leslie Reynolds-Benns, PhD, author of one of the most important books on the planet, right now, Confession is Good for MORE than the Soul. Speaker, trainer, workshop leader, community activist and wedding officiant. Sign up for our mailling list and a FR*E*E 4-part mini e-course, CREATING YOUR OWN REALITY, of which this is a part, at www.lesliereynoldsbenns.com
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